Have you finally orgasmed yet?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
