if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
