so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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