Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
