hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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