Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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