one two three fourrrrnication!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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