The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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