absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
