yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Terrible idea I love it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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