I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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