I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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