so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
