So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
