im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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