matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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