i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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