She is in my trunk
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
