remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
