We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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