Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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