This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
