Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
