just come out here and I will go home with you...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nutella sex= disaster
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
