Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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