I think I am morally bankrupt
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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