so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
