the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
