I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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