she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
