I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
