omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
