3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
