No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
