the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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