Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
