Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
