Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
