i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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