You can't special order awesome
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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