You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
