nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
