dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
