then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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