your thong is hanging out like whoa
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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