At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
