did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
this hospital has no fireball
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
