She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
