Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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