I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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